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A Midge in Your Hand Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt: Modern by Stuart McLean

By Stuart McLean

An irreverent romp via Scottish proverbs - with chapters starting from previous Scottish Proverbs remodeled and glossy Scottish Proverbs throughout the Midge, Scottish Chat-Up strains, and Scottish Insults to Glaswegian Proverbs. to not be taken heavily by any means!

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We’re from the Wee Free and are hunting down God-forsaking heathens. Ilka body disnae hae the like o’ that. He seems to have contracted H5N1 Bird Flu. indd 40 21/06/2007 09:25:13 ... Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt Better ne’er begun than ne’er ended. Never do anything today that you can put off until tomorrow. Better be freends a’ a distance than enemies a’ hame. The perfect divorce is one that doesn’t require a court restraining order. indd 41 21/06/2007 09:25:13 A Midge in Your Hand... Cast a cat ower the hoose an she’ll fa’ on her feet.

Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt A fair maid tocherless will get mair wooers than husbands. Any lass that’s not on Supplementary Benefit will only attract scum. Better be blythe wi’ little than sad wi’ naething. When you feel depressed at the size of your manhood just think of poor John Bobbitt. indd 31 21/06/2007 09:25:12 A Midge in Your Hand... A fool can earn money, but it taks a wise man to keep it. Computer programmers seldom marry. Best to be off wi’ the auld love before we be on wi’ the new. Take Liz Taylor’s advice on how to have a long and happy marriage.

Haemoglobin is more viscous than H2O. indd 60 21/06/2007 09:25:14 ... indd 61 21/06/2007 09:25:14 A Midge in Your Hand... Bagpipes – an octopus wearing a kilt. The bagpipes are the best way to terrorise the neighbours without the inconvenience of getting an ASBO. To play the blues choose a harmonica, to play despair choose the bagpipes. indd 62 21/06/2007 09:25:14 ... Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt The difference between a piper and a terrorist is that terrorists have sympathisers. Bagpipes and the Loch Ness Monster have two things in common – they attract tourists and terrify little children.

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